


Endorphins

by fumblingwords



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Injured Lance (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Langst, M/M, The team is worried for Lance, This was longer than what i expected, Worried Keith (Voltron), vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 00:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fumblingwords/pseuds/fumblingwords
Summary: They say that these are the hormones that give us a positive and blissful feeling.Unfortunately for Lance, a galra toxin reduced his drastically.





	Endorphins

Lance tries his best to keep a smile on his face.  
  
All the jokes, pick up lines, and many shenanigans are done so that he can lift the team's spirit. Get them smiling and laughing and _happy_.  
  
Even though he isn't.  
  
Don't get him wrong, he loves his teammates, his second family; he would die for them if he has to. But sometimes, _sometimes_ , there are moments wherein he tends to overthink.  
  
_7th wheel. Extra paladin. Not good enough. Unworthy._  
  
He was sitting on his bed, these thoughts repeatedly racing inside his mind, filling him up with loneliness. He closed his eyes, desperately trying to get rid of the tears that are starting to well up. He knows, though. Deep inside, he knows that in their own different ways, his teammates look out for him.  
  
He just can't bring himself to believe.  
  
He heard the sound of his door swishing open. Tentative footsteps made their way inside his room. "Lance?"  
  
He hurriedly wiped at his eyes and plastered a grin, turning around.  
  
Keith was there, standing awkwardly by his bed, fingers fidgeting with his gloves.  
  
"Why hello there, Keithy. What brings you here to my humble abode?"  
  
Keith rolled his eyes, although the fondness in that gesture did not go unnoticed. "They sent me to tell you that dinner is ready."  
  
"Oh, okay, let's go eat then." Lance replied, standing up and smoothing down his shirt. He looked up and saw Keith staring intently at him. (And he does not blush, thank you very much.)  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
Lance raised an eyebrow. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"  
  
For added effect, he did his infamous finger guns, eliciting yet another fond eye roll from Keith. (Nope, he's still not flustered.)  
  
"Whatever you say. Let's go."

* * *

Dinner was quite uneventful. They did their usual conversations and banter, and Lance was starting to feel a bit better. Seeing his teammates gathered in one place, happy, and dare he say peaceful despite the ongoing war with the Galra, brightened his mood. The fact that the planet they were currently in was quiet and nice also contributed to his cheering up.  
  
He looked around the table with a soft smile on his face. Pidge and Hunk were doing some sort of who-can-eat-this-the-fastest contest, while Allura and Coran watch them, half amused and half puzzled ( _"Is this another one of those Earth cultures?"_ ). Shiro and Keith were talking to each other, and Lance watched as Keith let out a laugh.  
  
_Keith_.  
  
They both got over their "rivalry" some time ago, deciding that it will be best so that they can form Voltron easier, with stronger bonds with their lions and as a team as well.  
  
As time passed by, Lance and Keith grew closer together. Of course, there was still their usual banter, but that was all it was. Keith helped him improve his close combat skills, sparring with him for a certain amount of time every day so that they can be ready should the Galra commence another surprise attack.  
  
Keith became more open and more comfortable when he grew closer with Lance. It pleased the other man greatly, even though he'll never admit that out loud, pfft. They may have overcome their rivalry, and may be friends, but there's _something else_ that Lance tries not to think about. Just like how he doesn't want to think about the damn mullet that he wants to run his fingers through, the violet eyes that he constantly gets lost in when they bore into his, the strong arms that he marvels at during training...also how he's so awkwardly cute, always ready to fight whoever messes with the people he cares about, always so gentle when comforting his teammates, that soft smile he gives Lance a lot lately... _fuck_.  
  
Okay, so _maybe_ Lance is in love with Keith, but it's not like he's gonna tell him anyways. Besides, he's 99.8% sure that Keith doesn't look at him in that way.  
  
That doesn't mean he's not hoping on the 0.2%, though.  
  
He was still contemplating about his feelings for Keith when the sounds of the explosions and the castle alarm broke him from his reverie.

* * *

"Can't we just have _one_ meal without them interrupting?!" Pidge screamed as they ran to their hangars as fast as they could. "This is getting so fucking annoying!"  
  
They were all so stressed and bewildered that not even one of them bothered to call out Pidge on her language. Not even Shiro.  
  
"How many galra ships are there this time?" Hunk asked.  
  
"I have no idea," said Shiro, "but look, there's Zarkon's ship. We have to stop him while we have the chance!"  
  
Once they got to their lions, they sped off, each fighting as much as they can, while helping one another as well. They were all focused on their enemies, until—  
  
"Lance, watch out!"  
  
Lance immediately turned around, but it was too late. He was hit by a laser, and Blue went tumbling, her pilot desperately trying to regain the controls. When he finally got a good grip again, that was when he noticed the smoke.  
  
It was brown and thick, quickly filling up inside of Blue. He coughed, way beyond confused. _What the hell was in that laser?_ The smoke made its way into his respiratory system, then came the raging thoughts.  
  
_Useless._  
  
_Couldn't even dodge a single shot._  
  
_Why are you even a paladin then?_  
  
He shut his eyes tight, not noticing the calls and shouts of his teammates.  
  
_You're a mess._  
  
_They don't like you. They never did._  
  
_You don't deserve to be in the Garrison, much less be a part of Voltron._  
  
He tried to continue fighting, but to no avail. He couldn't concentrate. Was he crying? He didn't even know. The spiteful words were wrecking and pounding at his brain, tumultuous and relentless.  
  
_They hate you._  
  
_You bring them down._  
  
_You're nothing but a fucking burden._  
  
More harsh and horrifying thoughts penetrated his mind, crushing every bit of willpower he had.  
  
_Keith doesn't like you._  
  
_He's just putting up with you for the sake of the team._  
  
_You're not good enough for him._  
  
"Stop!" Lance screamed, agonizing and absolutely heart shattering. It was too much. It was all too much and Lance could feel himself physically buckle under the weight of it all.  
  
He felt the familiar warmth exuded by Blue, enveloping his mind with reassurances, but for some reason it still didn't achieve the desired effect. He didn't know why his insecurities were suddenly hitting the roof, at the most inconvenient time.  
  
"Make it stop, please," he croaked, his voice hoarse from all the screaming. He was hurt, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and he doesn't know what to do. This was more intense than his previous breakdowns. "Guys, please, help me."  
  
_They won't notice._  
  
_They don't care._  
  
_Worthless, Blue Paladin. Worthless._  
  
_Can they even hear you?_

* * *

"Lance? Lance! Where are you?! What happened?"  
  
Shiro's voice, laced with worry, reverberated through the comms. The battle just finished, all of them in bad condition, but alive. However, they can't find the Blue Lion, nor can they contact her paladin. "Answer us, Lance, where are you?"  
  
Nothing but static.  
  
"We have to find him now!" Keith demanded.  
  
"Let's go find Blue," Pidge said calmly, although you can see that her eyes conveyed deep worry and fear as well. "With Allura and Coran's help, maybe we can track her signal again, and be able to open up communications with Lance."  
  
Shiro immediately contacted the castle. "Allura! Coran! Lance has been struck and we're trying to find him but we can't talk to him! His comms are down and he got a pretty solid hit."  
  
"What? Okay, I'll track his lion right now," Allura replied. The others scoured around their general area, but still can't see him. A few dobashes went by, and there's been no word from Allura.  
  
"That's it, I'm gonna go search this whole planet," Keith suddenly said. He's serious and he'll turn the planet upside down if he has to because this is _Lance_ and he'll be damned if he doesn't find the boy he's been in love with for a few months now.  
  
"Wait! I found him!" Allura suddenly said. They rushed to the coordinates she sent them, and found Blue. And it was quite the sight.  
  
She was on her side, dents everywhere from crashing into rocks as she fell. Black and brown smoke rose from the creases and chinks in her structure, bewildering the team. Her mouth was open, so the others quickly landed, got out of their lions, and ran towards Blue's cockpit, calling out Lance's name.  
  
They stopped short when they saw him.  
  
He was on the floor— or, given Blue's current position, side— eyes clenched tight. His hands gripped his hair and he was shaking, soft sobs and whimpers dangling from his lips. He was pale and sweaty, dirt and dried blood tainting his skin.  
  
"Holy shit." Keith ran towards him, dropping down and removing Lance's hands from his head. "Lance? Lance! We're here, can you hear us?"  
  
Lance continued to shake, his whimpers increasing in volume. Clammy fingers gripped Keith's wrist tightly. "K-Keith...don't...leave..."  
  
"No, no, of course not. I'm not leaving you. We're gonna get you to a cryopod as soon as possible, okay? Hang in there, Lance."  
  
Keith looked at the others. "I'm gonna carry him to my lion and bring him back to the castle."  
  
"Keith, are you sure—"  
  
"Yes I'm sure, my lion's the fastest, which is what we need right now. You guys take care of Blue."  
  
With that, he scooped the injured paladin up in his arms bridal style and ran as fast as he could without jostling him too much. He arrived at his lion, settled Lance in his lap, and flew back to the castle.  
  
Allura and Coran's worried forms were what he saw when he landed. "Is Lance okay?" Coran asked.  
  
On the way to the castle, Lance suddenly went still. Keith called out his name, but there was no response. This scared him further, so he flew faster.  
  
"I don't know," Keith panted. He described Lance's condition when they found him.  
  
Allura frowned. "A single laser shot can do that much damage? It doesn't seem right."  
  
"Well maybe there was something else in that laser!" Keith replied. "Can we put him in a cryopod now?"  
  
"Alright, let's go," Coran said, setting up the appropriate inputs. Keith removed Lance's armor, leaving him in his bodysuit, and carried him towards the waiting cryopod. Coran helped him get Lance inside, and he closed the pod, starting the healing process and observing the screen.  
  
"So?" Keith prodded. "What did you find?"  
  
He could hear sets of footsteps behind him. The others have already arrived.  
  
"We put Blue in her hangar already," Hunk said. "She's pretty banged up."  
  
"How's Lance?" Pidge asked. They all huddled around the pod, looking at the pained face beneath the glass. _Déjà vu much_ , Keith thought to himself, remembering the first time Lance was in a healing pod.  
  
"Okay, so, according to this, Lance suffered no life threatening physical injuries."  
  
"Well then why was he in so much pain when we found him?"  
  
"Ah ah, I said _physical_ injuries. Apparently an anomaly has been found in his brain patterns."  
  
"What kind of anomaly?"  
  
Coran's brows furrowed. "His brain's production of something called endorphins suddenly slowed. I believe you call those the 'happy hormones'?"  
  
"Yeah, those hormones produce feelings of bliss and euphoria," Pidge quipped. "But what do you mean Lance's brain slowed down?"  
  
"There was a toxin in the laser that the Galra fired. Usually it would cause us Alteans to grow very dizzy and nauseous, but we can see that it has different effects on the human brain."  
  
"Wait, so, lack of endorphins caused Lance to...become unresponsive already? That makes no sense."  
  
Coran studied the screen some more, while the other paladins waited rather impatiently.  
  
"Coran?" Keith snapped after a few dobashes.  
  
"Okay, I think I understand it now. Because of the lack of these endorphins, there was a sudden uptake in negativity for him. According to this, Lance's brain focused on negative thoughts, up until there were so much he physically could not handle the rapid progression. It may not make a lot of sense, but this is the Galra we're talking about. We never know what kind of tricks are up their sleeves."  
  
"Does that mean...the toxin targeted Lance's innermost doubts and insecurities?" Hunk asked, wide eyed.  
  
"I'm afraid so."  
  
The team stilled. If Lance's insecurities were intensified tenfold, then...oh no.  
  
They weren't blind; they noticed the way he seemed so drained some days, claiming it was just because of the training or a recent battle but they knew better. They could see it in the faint redness in his eyes that Lance thought he had hidden well. They could see it in the way their usually very energetic and bubbly teammate just sent small smiles, not even bothering to add his own unique commentary or pick up lines during meetings. They saw it in the way Lance would look down and stay quiet when talking about Earth. They noticed, and damn did they try to talk to him about it, but Lance himself doesn't want anyone to see him in that state.  
  
So now they felt guilty. They should've talked to him, assured him that he was appreciated and loved and he doesn't have to worry because they will always be there for him.  
  
"How long will he be in there?" Pidge asked softly.  
  
"The toxin's pretty much deep inside already, I'm afraid, and add in his physical injuries as well. That would be about three to five days." Coran replied.  
  
"For the meantime, all of you should rest and tend to your wounds," Allura spoke up. "We're all worried about Lance, but you need to think of yourselves too. Go eat or sleep, paladins. It's been a long day."  
  
They all went back to their rooms, cleaning themselves up and proceeding to do something else that can distract them. Keith, however, tried training, but Shiro stopped him.  
  
"Not today, Keith. Go rest."  
  
"But Shiro—"  
  
"Please, Keith. I know you want to let out all that frustration, but you'll wear yourself out even more if you still train after an intense battle."  
  
"Fine. I'll just walk around then."  
  
Walk around he did, until he arrived at the cryopod room again. The castle was quiet without Lance's loud and snarky voice. It's been less than a day and Keith already misses it. Misses _him_.  
  
_Please wake up soon_ , Keith thought. _I have so much I want to tell you._  
  
Keith absolutely did not sleep in the cryopod room that night. And the night after that. And the night after that.

* * *

On the fourth day, Lance finally woke up.  
  
Keith caught him the moment he fell, hugging him tightly. "God, Lance," he breathed. "We were all so worried."  
  
"I highly doubt that," Lance replied drily. He was still a bit groggy, but despite that he knew a lie when he hears one. He pulls back from Keith, although his hands lingered on the other's shoulders.  
  
"No, no, _no_ , Lance!" Keith shot back. "Do you know how scared we were you wouldn't wake up? Coran said the toxin affected you greatly, so great it caused a fucking anomaly! I was so scared, Lance, I couldn't sleep well."  
  
Lance scoffed. "The great Keith Kogane, worried about me? If you're gonna lie might as well make it realistic."  
  
Keith held back a growl. "Why do you think so lowly of yourself? Do you really believe that we don't care about you? Because we do! I do! I care so fucking much about you and it scares me! It scares me because I don't know what I'd do if I didn't get to see you everyday." His voice cracked at the last part, and Lance froze.  
  
"Are you really telling the truth?"  
  
" _Yes_ ," he replied. "Look, being stranded in space, with only a few people you can consider your actual family...it changes one's perspective, you know? We always saw each other as rivals, and I was glad when we arrived at a truce. I was happy with us being friends but goddamn it, sometimes I look at you and your smile and your eyes and the way you care about everyone and I just... _I'm in love with you, Lance._ "  
  
Lance sucked in a breath, tears starting to form in his eyes. He must be dreaming. He must still be inside the pod because the boy he's pining after is saying the the feelings are reciprocated? It was too good to be true.  
  
"I know it's hard, but you don't have to fight those insecurities and doubts alone. We're here for you, and you are in no way a burden to us, okay? You're good enough and I love you and I will make sure that you're never gonna get through this alo—"  
  
He was cut off as Lance pressed his lips against his, wrapping his arms around Keith's neck.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lance whispered when they slightly pulled away.  
  
"Hey," Keith wiped away the stray tears in Lance's cheeks with his thumb, "you don't have to apologize for anything. We should be the ones to say sorry."  
  
"But the battle—"  
  
"We won, Lance. We won and we immediately came to find you right after."  
  
Lance buried his face in Keith's neck. "I love you too, Keith," he mumbled.  
  
Keith smiled, hugged him tight, and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple. "Let's go tell the others you're awake. We have lots to talk about."

* * *

Lance tries his best to keep a smile on his face.  
  
But now, with his team and his boyfriend, it isn't so hard anymore.

His family is happy, so he's happy and content. What more could he ask for, then?

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/diangelcs)!!


End file.
